Coaching is not just about getting somewhere…
Sometimes, its about feeling better where you are.
When I first started coaching many moons ago, my training was very much centred around setting goals, breaking them down into measurable steps and celebrating those small wins along the way.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Goals can give us direction, motivation and a sense of progress.
I’ve come to realise that goals don’t always have to be physical achievements, and they don’t always have to be something we can neatly measure or tick off a list.
Sometimes, the goal is simply to feel better.
The goal might be something you can clearly define, or it might be something you simply know you want to experience more of in your life.
It might be:
- Feeling more confident in yourself
- Understanding yourself a little more
- Becoming kinder to yourself
- Learning to manage anxiety and feel more in control
- Feeling less overwhelmed
- Reconnecting with the things that matter to you
- Finding a little more joy in everyday life
- Building resilience
- Discovering your strengths
- Finding more meaning and purpose
These things may not always have a number attached to them, but that doesn’t make them any less meaningful or any less worthy of working towards.
Sometimes We Need Coaching, Not Counselling
There is another distinction that I think is important to make. Coaching and counselling can both be incredibly valuable, but they are not the same thing and sometimes what we need is coaching rather than counselling.
Counselling often provides a space to explore what has happened to us, understand difficult experiences and work through emotional distress or issues from the past. It can be an important part of healing and making sense of our experiences.
Coaching tends to look in a different direction. Rather than primarily asking “Why am I feeling this way?”, it can ask “Where do I want to go from here?”
And that doesn’t mean you have to have a huge goal, a five-year plan or something you desperately want to achieve.
Sometimes you simply know that you don’t want to stay exactly where you are.
Perhaps you want to feel more confident. Maybe you have lost sight of what makes you happy. You might be going through a period of change and need to work out what comes next. Or perhaps nothing is particularly “wrong”, but you have a sense that life could feel more fulfilling.
Sometimes what we need isn’t to fix something that is broken. We might simply need some time and space to pause, reflect and think about what we want more of in our lives.
That, for me, is where coaching can be incredibly powerful.
It can give us the opportunity to step back from the noise of everyday life, explore what matters to us and consider what small changes might help us move towards a life that feels more like our own.
And This Is Where Positive Psychology Coaching Comes In
This is one of the reasons I have become particularly drawn to Positive Psychology Coaching over the years. It has broadened my understanding of what coaching can be and what we can work towards.
It has made me think beyond goals that can be measured or achieved and consider the things that contribute to our overall wellbeing; our strengths, confidence, resilience, sense of meaning and the things that bring enjoyment and fulfilment to our lives.
For me, this has opened up a much broader view of what a coaching goal can be. It brings a therapeutic element to coaching that feels authentic to who I am and reminds me why I was drawn to a helping profession in the first place.
Sometimes it is about achieving something. Sometimes it is about changing something. And sometimes, it is simply about finding a way to feel better.
Sometimes the most valuable changes aren’t the ones you can measure. They are the ones you can feel.
